How to make your house look clean in 5 minutes

I get this at least once a fortnight. A friend or family member will text or call nonchalantly and say: “Oh hey, are you in? I’m gonna pop over for a quick bevvie.” At this point, I will still be in my PJs, lion mane hair surrounding my make-up-less face and a few cheerios stuck to my…

Jackie, my Chinese friend.

My friend Jackie is OK. She’s Chinese and looks like a child from a distance. And before you ask, she can’t do kung fu or dance well. This is a picture of her: PS I like her lots really. Honest.