I’m searching for jobs at the moment. Which is probably why I’ve been hitting my head against the floor for almost three minutes.
Here are other reasons why it’s so truly terrible. I’ll leave you with them and continue the head bashing thing.
1) You have to search your SOUL for a position you don’t even want.
One girl I know was asked in an interview:
“What do you think truly connects a cashier to her cash point?”
Rope and self loathing was not the correct answer. Apparently, ‘the realisation that you are helping customers with their purchases, and therefore their lives’ was.
2) You have to prove to your potential employer that their love of funeral caskets/cat urine dispensers/other mundane objects is only seconded by your love.
‘My passion? From a young age I’ve always had a strong love for cold calls. I would call all my friends and family and talk to them about PPI on a regular basis.’
3) You feel like you spend four hours of your life on one application – just to get an automated response back saying you’re rejected.
You’re now grey and have crows feet. And still no job.
4) You begin to be jealous of everyone who has a job. Everyone. Even that guy – dressed as a banana.
Stop mocking me with your dancing. You may as well be throwing cash into the air and rubbing it all over your banana body.
5) …and then get borderline aggressive when someone asks you to do something that involves money.
No, I CANNOT see that new movie. Don’t you know I don’t have a job?!
6) You have nothing to do all week as all your friends/ family/pets are busy. Working.
Even the cat is out the house doing ‘something.’
7) Your family decide that you are pretty much a bum. No matter how many applications you have filled out today.
Every conversation starts ‘have you found a job yet?’ ‘You’re still not working? It’s been a whole week!’
8) you eventually find a job.
…and then question – god, why didn’t I make the most of lazy unemployed days?!
Comment and share if you agree.