Ah, hostels. The concept is great: sharing a room, saving money and meeting a whole bunch of potential friends. But anyone who has ever been in a hostel will have met at least one of these characters:
1) The One Who Never Leaves The Room.
You’ve been out all day. He’s there. You leave for another few hours. He’s still there. He may be travelling, but he damn-well wants to get his money’s worth out of that hostel bed.
2) The One Who is Never In the Room
There are folded PJs on the pillow and usually some sort of note pad. Things move every day but you never actually see the person enter or leave the room. They appear to have the powers of a ninja with paisley PJs. Shudder.
3)The Super Clingy One
They came travelling on their own and they WILL be your best friend no matter what. Usually as soon as you walk through the door, sweating and arms full of bags, they’ll talk at you with all their gusto. Even when you have your headphones on you’ll still hear them talking to you, not minding/ not noticing that you don’t respond.
4) The INSANE Body Odour One.
‘Oh my god…did someone leave a dead human in here?’ No, no that’s just your friendly next bunk bed pal, Odour McStinky.
5) The ‘I want you to be part of my phone conversation’ One
Yeah, we get it, you’re on the phone. Please, we really do NOT want to miss out on your conversation so feel free to sit in the middle of the room and shout at your poor defenceless iPhone with all your might.
6) The One Who Loses Everything. Like, All The Time.
‘Guys, guys, seriously, has someone seen my keys/phone/head/arm/trainer/left sock?’ This person will then panic for roughly 5 minutes and then find the missing item. This whole charade usually happens at 4am when pished.
7) The One Who Eats Sleeps Raves Repeats
Hostels are for going out, sure. But this person is never, like, never sober. Ever. They are usually the ones who entertain you with travelling stories about how fucked they were in various places. You often question how they are still alive/haven’t been run over by a car yet.
8) The One Who is Actually Alright
These people, the sane and normal ones, will be your salvation. And probably your friends for life.