So last time I complained about exercise, I was in the process of doing my half marathon. Which I did. Little ‘wahoo’ to me.
But instead of going back to my sofa, throwing popcorn in and around my face with no real direction to target, I have decided to do another stupid challenge.
I read an article on the 30 Day Squat Challenge, and then the 30 Day Abs Challenge.
I’m now on Day 15. Today, I have to do a total of 70 sit ups, 90 crunches, 42 leg raises and a 60s plank. Oh, and 125 squats.
And it’s terrible.
I mean, the sit ups are bad enough.
When I begin, my hands are on the side of my head like the picture of the dead thin person on the crunch machine, and I’m breathing in a awesomely professional manner.
But as soon as I reach double figures, my body appears to move in ways I never even thought it could. It moves like a fish out of water, flapping and flopping about on the stupidly slippy mat.
I move from one end of the mat to the other so much so that I swear I have friction burn on my arse. And my perfectly poised hands? They go from doing nothing to literally pulling me up by feebly grasping my knees.
So nothing outrageous has happened so far. I still resemble the same person and my clothes are still the same fit.
But there are a few changes to my general well being. I now have no control over my entire stomach area. When I wake up in the morning I have to physically roll out of bed to prevent myself from actually sitting up.
When I cough, it is like Gandalf is slamming his stick into my stomach. And don’t even get me started about the sheer horrendous effort it is to get in and out of sofas/cars/seats now.
I swear to god, if I can’t wear one of those ‘cropped tops’ by the end of this I will be having SERIOUS words with whomever’s damn idea this was.