Next person who sneezes on me, I will punch you in the face.

Now I’m no advocate for violence.

I’ve only been in one fight in my life. And that was when I was fourteen and someone said a snide comment so I pushed them lightly and then ran away.

On the rare occasions that anyone attempts to fight me, usually because I’ve said something stupid, which I previously thought was hilarious and they have overheard me, I usually try and win them over with my offhand charm and wit.


But there’s one time where I would happily get up on someone’s grill.

And that’s when people forcibly spread their germs in my direction.

I’m no hypochondriac, but it’s cold outside. I’ve already had roughly ONE MILLION colds this winter. I don’t want another one. So please, do not come into my personal area and hack that cough or spray out that sneeze without any barrier between me and the green little bugs coming from your face.

Glad I could express that.

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